A Hero

I have heard of a land on the faraway strand,
Tis a beautiful home of the soul;
Built by Jesus on high, where we never shall die,
’Tis a land where we never grow old.

Never grow old, never grow old,
In a land where we’ll never grow old;
Never grow old, never grow old,
In a land where we’ll never grow old.

In that beautiful home where we’ll never more roam,
We shall be in the sweet by and by;
Happy praise to the King through eternity sing,
‘Tis a land where we never shall die.

When our work here is done and the life-crown is won,
And our troubles and trials are o’er;
All our sorrow will end, and our voices will blend,
With the loved ones who’ve gone on before.

When Jonathan and I first started dating 10 years ago this December his Grandfather was 82 years old. At that time he was still living by himself, but the ravages of time and war and hard work were already taking toll on his mind and body.  A few years later right after we were married we were leaving Christmas lunch at Daddy Joe’s house and Jonathan told me that he wished I could have known his grandmother and that he thought I would like her.  Driving away from the house he told me about watching Daddy Joe turn a fourwheeler over on himself and hop up like nothing had happened.  This led to a history and account of how tough an old man he was and I could hear the respect and love in Jonathan’s voice as he told me about Daddy Joe’s role in the war and how hard he worked the land and what he expected from his children.  A few years after this, he came with Pam and Paul to Oxford to see Holt, just home from the hospital.  He was still able to put faces to names and memories and I enjoyed watching three generations of Fortners share in the joy of a new generation. Time, or rather its effects, moved much more quickly for Daddy Joe after that year and the few times that we have seen him in the past five years his mind and memory were much more attenuated.  Jonathan has told me, like with his Mamaw Dorothy, that he wished that I could have known Daddy Joe when he was younger.  At the time I listened and agreed that I wish that I had known him as Jonathan knew him.  But, last night when we got the call that Daddy Joe had gone to be with the Lord, I thought to myself, and I suppose this is my way of telling Jonathan, that I knew Daddy Joe much better than he or I realized. 

I know him through the way his daughters’ laughter fills a house when they are together, and the way Deborah’s contagious smile welcomes friend or stranger into her home and the way Stanley bear hugs any new member of the family, whether they are prepared for the embrace or not.  I know him in the way that his grown sons and daughters affectionately called him “daddy,” and the gentle way I saw him hold each of his great grandchildren when his weathered hands were still able to.  I know him in the warmth and joy that is palpable at Fortner family get-togethers and the music that inevitably fills the room of those reunions when his sons pull out their various instruments and play hymns and songs they have learned by ear.  I know him in the way his children and their children and their children loved him and spoke to him and of him.  I know him in the character of those children. 

Perhaps the way that I know him best is in the way that I know his son, my father in law, my children’s grandfather.  His toughness and determination and his gentleness and kindness come honestly.  People that know Jonathan know what a hard worker he is and that trait is inherited from the men whose name he shares.  Jonathan’s diligence and drive are just a fraction of Paul’s and I imagine Paul’s attributes are just a taste of what Daddy Joe’s were.  I know him through Jonathan, the man I married, the most amazing man I know, who came from good stock.

One memory I have stands out that helps me know Daddy Joe best.  That day he came to Oxford to meet his newest great grandchild, he pulled me and Jonathan aside and told us that if we raised Holt by the book, the good book and to know Jesus Christ as his Lord and savior, the rest would take care of itself.  So, I know him too, as a Christian who loved and feared the Lord and remained faithful to the end.  His faithfulness has born fruit in the lives of his children and grandchildren who are likewise faithful.  His life is a wonderful example of God’s multi-generational faithfulness. 

Last night, Jonathan told me he was having a hard time being sad, because he knew where Daddy Joe was and that he was where he’s wanted to be since 1998.  We talked about how he loved Mamaw Dorothy and then about his time in the war.  I listened to Jonathan tell me about how he hid in a potato field to escape enemy fire as fellow soldiers fell around him and how he ate mayonnaise sandwiches as a prisoner of war in Czechoslovakia and how after he was liberated the army put him up in a hotel on the beach in Florida when he got home.  He was a part of the great Generation that is shrinking daily.  I thought, as we were talking, how proud I am to share a name with him and how happy he must be resting in the arms of the heavenly father, standing straight and tall, free from the chains and afflictions he suffered under and from in his last few years.  When I count my blessings at night, I count among them knowing such an amazing man, and for the men and women he raised, particularly the man I am very proud to call father and the man to whom I am married.  And, while my children won’t know him as Jonathan did, I hope that they know him as I do and that his faithfulness continues in their walk with Christ. 

Psalm 78: 4-7

We will not conceal them from their children, But tell to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, And His strength and His wondrous works that He has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers That they should teach them to their children, That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children, That they should put their confidence in God And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments