My Life in Quotes

"Harper Ann please put on clothes" - said eleventy billion times in one day

"No Harper Ann you cannot wear pink goggles to church...There are lots of reasons why but the most important is because I said so...No, they will not make Jesus happy"

Harper Ann on the Fall of Man - "God doesn't give spankings when you do bad things he just makes you naked and then makes you leave his pretty Garden." Me later in the day..."No Harper Ann you may not get naked instead of getting a spanking"

"Well, Holt, if you didn't want to be late for school you shouldn't have told me I looked like a boy in those clothes as we were walking out the door."

I was putting JC down for a nap and Harper Ann came in and asked if she could tell us a story, and so she began,

"Once upon a time there was a little boy, and do you know what his name was?"

"No. Tell me."

"his name was Holt" she said. " and he had a sweet baby sister, and do you know what her name was?"

"hmm. What?"

"Jane Cannon." she said with a smile. Then, her face turned serious and stern. "and then...the evil came, and do you know what the evil was named"

"no."

"Harper Ann."

Hahahaha

 

Harper Ann was taking a bath the other night and I walked in to find her floating in the water staring at the ceiling turning her head side to side:

Me- "Harper Ann, what are you doing?"
HA - "I was just thinking and trying to figure out what's wrong with me."
Me - "Well, what's wrong with you?"
HA - "I don't know I haven't figured it out yet."

Me - "Harper Ann, why are you sitting in the sink and how did you get in there?"

HA - "I just wanted to see if I could get in here and I could - you can help me out now."

HA was in the kitchen asking for some dip for her chips. When I told her we didn't have any she looks at me and says, "woman, you better fix me some before I spank you naked and hide your clothes."

I was dropping HA off at school a few weeks ago and I was reminding her to use good manners.  A trick I used with Holt that my mom used with me was telling him that I was giving him a pocket full of pleases and thank yous to use during the day and that I wanted him to come home with empty pockets :-).  This is the conversation that transpired with my girl:

Me - "Harper Ann I'm going to give you some pleases and thank yous to put in your pockets and I want you to remember to use them today ok?"

HA - "No thank you I'll just take money"

Well at least she used her thank you.

I was fixing Harper Ann's hair the other morning before school and if you have never had the pleasure of brushing a 3 year old girl's hair against her will, especially one with a penchant for wiggliness and a fiery ahem personality, it's not unlike trying to coral a wild stallion for branding - what you've never experienced this?  Well, take it from me, try the stallion thing first - I'm sure it is far less painful.  After a dance of wills that involved thrashing, tears, screams, sweat and only minor bloodshed - I had her pinned between my legs and was almost done putting the ponytail in when she jerked her head...I threw my hands up in disgust and asked "What is wrong with you child?" then she leans back and in a moment of brutal honesty drops her head and shakes it from side to side, "I'm just impossible sometimes"

Amen